Published: April 30, 2008 04:54 pm            

DOUGLAS: A family commitment — Food for thought

Recently somebody made a comment in passing about how our president took our sons into war, etc. Not anything new, except we, as parents of a career military person and grandparents of two sibling grandsons — one Army, one Marine — have had it with statements like this and have to speak out.

Our son, Kurt, at 39 years old, dropped out of college in the third year at Indiana University on part scholarship, where as a chemistry major he had hoped to go as far as he possibly could in his education.

He joined the Army, was graduated an honor soldier, and was one of three in his class that the Pentagon had a hard time placing, because of his record. They wanted him to go to Officer Candidate School and he refused, telling his father and I that if he was to do it, then he would do it in his own way and that was from the bottom up. We never will forget being at Fort Sill with him for that special time in his young life.

During a tour in Germany, he met the woman who would become his wife. Now, after 14 years, they have their first child.

When Kurt had to go to Korea after Germany, it was a hardship tour. After a few months, his wife went to visit and was able to extend her visa and taught English to the children there, allowing her to remain with our son.

When we asked our daughter-in-law what it was like over there, all she could say was that the kids here in our country had no idea how spoiled they were. And she is right.

Kurt later shipped to Iraq and was there a year as was our oldest grandson. He was one of the soldiers to go from door to door during the beginning, during the bad times. He is back at Fort Sill now, but volunteered to go back if needed. He is 25 years old and also has a young family.

This Christmas, Kurt and his wife and our new granddaughter came for a few days visit, making the rounds of the families as they are strung out all over. When they got home, he was to leave for his second tour in Iraq with his only child six weeks old.

Kurt is not where he is due to our president. He was not drafted or forced in any way to go into the military due to our president’s actions. He is there because he wants to be. To protect what he believes in here and to help others in theirs, because he is fighting for your rights to pray to your “God” and live and let live. The other side of that coin is so you can drink and beat your kids and your wife after you get drunk, or kill them So you can take and or sell your drugs instead of using the money to pay for your bills, letting everyone else care for you and go to the meth clinic and complain for a place to park.

We read the papers and watch the TV news and it makes us ill at what’s happening to the youth.

In our case, we feel this way: We were strict, had little at times, poor in the eyes of many, yet we were rich.

Our four sons excelled, as did our daughter. The day after she graduated high school, she was named third runner-up as Miss Indiana. She then graduated with her bachelors degree from Purdue. But, while she did her cadet teaching at her old grade school, her senior year of high school, she said kids would come to school hungry and dirty. Teachers and the principal would care for and clean them up. Where are the parents today?

And kids do not play today. They do not know how to. We bought books and games for ours. Education was first, meaning homework was too. They loved school.

Today, both parents work and convince themselves they have to in order to buy everything the child wants, and then the child whines for more. We taught ours discipline and they teach the same to their children. We wish everyone else would so our grandchildren can live happy lives. If you did, you would know that your child does not do drugs or carry weapons.

Do not be afraid to correct your child. You are the parent, not someone else. Your child knows to call the police if you spank him — then let him call them.

Why do I go from our son in the military to this? Kurt said it best after three years in Germany, “Kids today need to be taught old-fashioned respect.” It is that simple.

Get a job, go to work, stop watching TV all day, or using your parents of older age as a crutch to keep you going. Our son protects you.

We are sure some will not mind what we say and others will be offended by it, but it makes us ill to see what is going on with people. Yet, people do not care, while our son, and every son of a mother and father in the military, works for them.

Years ago, someone asked me if, as a mother, if I did not want more for myself. I was very offended, because I chose my job. It was wife, homemaker and mother. They said, “You don’t get paid.” I have been paid so much more than any paycheck could ever give me, I cannot tell you. I never missed anything.

And here is that word again. We raised ours on a hope, a prayer and a shoestring that was very frayed, but by the grace of God’s help and all the blessings we were given, we did it.

My husband was in Vietnam on the U.S.S. Enterprise for years and, when President Nixon passed away, we lived up north. Flags were not set at half-staff and my husband felt that wrong. He went and lowered them. President Nixon may have done some wrong, but he was still a statesman.

Respect.

D.H. Douglas is a Jeffersonville resident.

        

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