Published: June 24, 2009 06:10 pm      

McDONALD: Trash talk and forgiveness

We have all seen the picture of attorney Larry Wilder sleeping (obviously intoxicated) in his neighbor’s trash can. I don’t personally know Mr. Wilder — but I know of him in his professional capacity as attorney for the (Jeffersonville) city council and the Greater Clark County School Board.

Controversy stirs around the identity of the person who took the picture and Mr. Wilder believes it was a Jeffersonville police officer. Whether or not the picture was politically motivated (and “when you are aggressive in your causes you make enemies” as Mr. Wilder stated) you create bad karma.

Mark Twain said that “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” I can forgive Mr. Wilder as a human being who is fallible as are we all. Who among us hasn’t committed an act that has embarrassed us or even our own families within our circle of family and friends?

Blaming a police officer or anyone else for taking the picture is kind of like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube after it is out. Once you decide to drink alcohol (with a client no less) to such an extent that you are driven home and can’t remember much past that, then you really have no one to blame — or to forgive — but yourself.

Unfortunately for Mr. Wilder, being a high profile public figure in the community sets the standard just a bit higher for behavior. People are forming opinions of him, rightly or wrongly, to either praise or vilify his actions. It is a no-win situation.

Furthermore, to blame the person who took pictures for hurting and embarrassing his family; a negative action does not have to be made public for your family to be embarrassed. It was embarrassing enough for them to see him in that condition coming through the door escorted by police.

I had been in the business world for quite a long time and traveled in that capacity domestically and internationally. It never was a custom for me to drink with a client. You are sending a message to your client with your public behavior that you are undisciplined and not in control.

In Mr. Wilder’s case, two of his significant clients are the city council and the school board. Both have audiences and stakeholders that would expect better judgment, especially parents, students, teachers and administrators. I am afraid that the mea culpa on the part of Mr. Wilder was just a bit weak as he quickly shifted the attention to the individual who took the picture.

Saint Augustine said “Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again.” As a consulting attorney for the school board, Mr. Wilder attended the graduations of the high school students in Greater Clark. Students and people in general look to leadership to model leadership. As those of us who are parents and grandparents know the “do as I say not as I do” approach is far from credible.

Regarding the school board, whether you stay or go is up to you and them. However, an apology to the school community should be forthcoming; for your behavior does not set a good example for the stakeholders you serve.

Mr. Wilder, you will survive to fight another day. One can only hope that you take this incident reflectively and without malice or to blame someone else. Your true friends will stand behind you and believe me in your line of work those true friends are few and far between. However, as Gandhi said “before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts.”

Tim McDonald can be reached at timothy.mcdonald@agsfaculty.indwes.edu