Published: December 23, 2006 01:12 pm            

The Extra Milers: Joni Stockdale

Dancing with Joni, Stockdales show strength, courage as a family

She had just won a gold medal for her bowling in the Special Olympics and as her father pushed her wheelchair down the church isle, the minister and congregation expressed their admiration.

That Sunday several years ago was my first time to meet Joni Stockdale. She was born in 1966 to Virgil and Judy Stockdale and for the next 39 years, they loved and cared for their beautiful daughter.

What Joni’s body couldn’t provide, her mind did. Cerebral Palsy restricted Joni’s movement and often made it difficult for her to verbalize her thoughts. However, when you spoke to Joni there was no doubting her joy in communication.

She expressed herself best through her smile. Joni’s face-popping smile and personality easily pulled friends into her life. She enjoyed teasing and laughter as much as anyone I have ever known. She was a remarkable young woman.

With great sadness, I tell you that Joni passed away in her sleep this past week. At her funeral, her pastor, Reverend Bruce Barkhauer noted, “Joni shared a special joy with everyone who knew her. Bill Scott used to greet her by gently kicking her chair to get her attention. Her Uncle Frank Applegate used to rub her head for good luck. She found such happiness in these and so many other similar relationships.”

After dressing for church in the same colors several weeks in a row, Joni and I began teasing that we had a mental connection. Ironically, after noting our color connection, we never matched our colors again. Our personal joke grew from there and I found myself drawn to her each week.

Relationships are what gives us depth and meaning to our lives, and Joni had both depth and meaning in her life. Her closest relationships were with her family — those who never considered loving or caring for her to be a burden; instead, finding Joni to be their inspiration.

When Joni was born, the doctors stated she would probably not live past adolescence. However, she and her family would not hear of it. Joni had special wishes and desires for her future.

Every birthday and Christmas, she told her family of her wish to be able to walk. Joni Stockdale may not have been granted her wish during her time with us, but wishes and prayers are often answered in ways we may not be able to see or fully understand.

“Those of us who knew and loved Joni, know that Joni is not just walking now, but she is dancing,” Rev. Barkhauer said.

Joni is surely singing clearly and dancing with eagle’s wings. Her human warmth was always in her relationships and in the lives of those around her — relationships that were most precious and holy. For giving so freely of herself and her love and friendship, Joni was an Extra Miler.

Joni’s family was named the Special Olympics Clark County Family of the Year and Region 11 Family of the Year. They hope to travel later this year to Indianapolis to be considered as the Special Olympics Family of the Year for Indiana.

I cannot imagine a family more deserving of this honor. Albeit bittersweet, this would be a most fitting honor for the Stockdale family. Several months ago, I spoke to Virgil about interviewing him to feature his family as Extra Milers. He was clearly baffled by my offer and after thinking about it briefly and speaking with Judy, he said that he wasn’t sure why I would consider his family to be anything extraordinary. He promptly provided the name of another couple he thought would be better suited for the honor.

Extraordinary indeed. When many families would have given up hope — the Stockdales persevered, when many would have been drained from the emotional and physical toll — the Stockdales found strength, and when many would have found sadness, the Stockdale’s found joy and love.

For giving so freely of themselves not only to Joni, but to others as well, Virgil, Judy, and family— never doubt the fact that you are truly extraordinary Extra Milers. Thank you for being role models for unconditional love.

KINDNESS TIP OF THE MONTH: Contact any of your local organizations who work with individuals with disabilities. Ask them what you can do to help. Anyone can spare at least one or two days a year to volunteer. When you do, take along your children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews to help.

You will be giving them a special gift by allowing them to see first hand how we are all have the same heart, each with something special to offer others. While there are many worthy organizations, listed below are a couple of agencies to get you started:

• Special Olympics Indiana, 6100 W. 96th St., Suite 27D, Indianapolis, IN 46278; 317-328-2000 or 800-742-0612; E-mail: information@soindiana.org

• Indiana Vocational Rehabilitation Services, 1452 Vaxter Avenue P.O. Box 2517, Clarksville, IN 47131-2517; 812-288-8261 or 877-228-1967; Voice/TDD: 812-288-8261

Carol A. Dawson is a resident of Jeffersonville and president of a national training and consulting company, EEO Guidance, Inc . If you have seen or been a part of an act of kindness or know an extra miler, let us know about it. To submit a story or act of kindness, contact Carol via email: Extra.Milers@newsandtribune.com or send mail to: The Extra Milers, The Evening News, 221 Spring St., Jeffersonville, IN 47130-3340.

        

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