Published: December 23, 2006 01:28 pm      

The Extra Milers: Nicholas VanArsdale

“No, nobody is going to cut my hair!” Nicholaus was justly upset when his Mom recently said he needed to have his hair cut. His Mother, Melinda VanArsdale, on the other hand, was elated to make the appointment. You see, Nicholaus has brand new blonde hair on his head and is not fond of any form of further hair loss. This vivacious and handsome blue eyed blonde 6 year old child is currently in remission from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He was diagnosed in January 2004 and has been fighting (and winning) ever since. Nicholaus will be undergoing another two years of chemotherapy (oral) as maintenance, and along with regular doctor visits, the ever-dreaded quarterly spinal tap. He shouldn’t lose his hair again, which is something that makes him very happy. I sat down with Nicholaus and his family at his favorite restaurant in Jeffersonville, Taco Bell, to talk about his medical journey and those who have gone that extra mile to help.

I asked Nicholaus who has been the nicest to him and he was very quick to respond with the names of several young friends, especially Aaron. “He came to see me in the hospital when I was very sick and played with me,” he said in between bites of chicken quesadilla. “I was too sick to go to school or see other friends.” Nicholaus also got a big kick out of his grown up church friend, Rick Lovett, who shaved off his hair to make him feel better. Nicholaus and his older sister, Christal, laughed at the memory and said Rick looked funny without his hair and he made them laugh. Although Melinda and David VanArsdale named charities, family, doctors, friends, individuals and church members who have helped them throughout Nicholaus’s recovery, they say they fear they can never thank everyone enough. Then there are the people who have done things anonymously ... such as the man who came by their yard sale and said he wanted to purchase one of the donated U of L signed soccer balls. He gave them $100 instead of the asking price of $25 and didn’t want to take the soccer ball with him. He said he had a son who was the same age of Nicholaus. Later his daughter came by to also purchase a soccer ball.

I asked 9-year-old Christal who helped her get through her brother’s illness and she immediately named her teacher, Natalie Worrall, “She talked to me a lot and made sure I didn’t get behind in my schoolwork.” Melinda said a lot of people went out of their way to include Christal in their generosity and prayers, while she and David made sure she had as much one-on-one time as possible. This experience with her brother has impacted Christal significantly. She thought she might lose him and as a result has chosen her career earlier than most little girls – she wants to be a “cancer doctor.” Her father said she has grown significantly in her faith since Nicholaus was diagnosed.

As if dealing with this illness in their family wasn’t enough, the VanArsdale’s have had to struggle financially to keep up with the growing medical bills and cost of living while one parent stopped working to care for their son. They are quick to point out the many acts of kindness they have received in this area also. They had some problems with large payments to the gas company recently and Barbara Anderson stepped in to help them with the utility company to keep their service turned on. “We didn’t even know Barbara. We have been touched by many acts of kindness during the past year and half,” stated Melinda, “but the growing expenses are a constant worry for our family.” A web site has been set up with family journal entries since the diagnosis of Nicholaus’s cancer. You can visit that website at: www2.caringbridge.org/in/nicholausdavid/ - Maybe you can help ... there are many ways, starting with the VanArsdale’s request that we all pray for Nicholaus’s continued recovery.

Nicholaus is uniquely appreciative for a child so young. He responds with “thank you” to nearly everything. He told me that he doesn’t know what he wants to be when he grows up. That is typical for a 6 year old child, but his thoughts go beyond typical when he tells you that he does know this - he wants to live.

Nicholaus recently announced it is time for his bedroom to be re-decorated. Currently, he is in his original room designed for an infant. His parents are more than glad to make the rounds looking for discounted paint and Buzz Lightyear decorations to celebrate their son’s growth from their baby to a little boy. Yes, celebrate indeed ... the VanArsdale’s baby who has grown into a happy and playful little boy.

KINDNESS TIP OF THE MONTH: When someone is in need, don’t simply tell them you are there if they need you. How often do people in need really take you up on a general offer? Ask what you can do and then follow through. Before my father passed away from cancer, I recall my mother noting many offers of help, but few following through. She was most impressed with those who simply brought her dinner or asked which week they could drive my father to his chemo treatments, which were 60 miles from their home. Don’t just say you will pray for someone – drop your head or lift it in prayer often. Go beyond asking – go on and do it - today!

Carol A. Dawson is a resident of Jeffersonville and President of a national training and consulting company, EEO Guidance, Inc . If you have seen or been a part of an act of kindness or know an extra miler, let us know about it. To submit a story or act of kindness, contact Carol via email: Extra.Milers@newsandtribune.com or send mail to: The Extra Milers, The Evening News, 221 Spring St., Jeffersonville, IN 47130-3340.