Published: June 06, 2009 01:06 am      

EXTRA MILER: Two women provide love, care during difficult time

It is my belief that God draws closer to us during our times of pain and grief. For the past several weeks, my family has leaned heavily on our faith and the Extra Milers in our lives.

At the end of April, my family received the sad and unexpected news that my mother-in-law passed away. Barbara Crutchfield, also known as “Mom C,” was the epitome of an Extra Miler. She truly cared about every living thing and thought of others before herself. She led a happy and good life for 85 years, principally because she designed it to be that way.

Mom C treated everyone she met with respect and dignity and never had a negative word to say about anyone. She worked as a beloved elementary school physical education teacher for more than 40 years in Miami, retired, and immediately began volunteering full shifts with the Miami Metro Zoo. She had an easy-going smile and a generous laugh. Everyone she met became a friend.

If such a thing is possible, Mom C was generous to a fault. Although certainly not wealthy, she contributed very generously to many charities and nonprofits. She was an amateur photographer and began taking photographs of the zoo animals. Her unique photos became cherished gifts for many employees and volunteers at the zoo.

When my husband, Ken, and I were given the sad news of Mom C’s passing, we immediately made our plans to fly to Miami to be with his sister and to assist with the funeral and other arrangements. Everything was chaotic. We were invited to stay in the home of a family friend, Barbara Stabley. We had not previously met Barbara, and yet she opened her home to our family.

Barbara Stabley not only shares the same name as Mom C, but there are uncanny similarities in their demeanor, words and actions. This was an immediate comfort to us.

As we entered Barbara’s home, we met her best friend and neighbor, Gloria Haydock. Gloria was a professional tap dancer when she was in her teens and 20s. She has a wonderful sense of humor that immediately put our lives into quick perspective.

These two Extra Milers made the next several days comfortable and as relaxing as possible. My sister-in-law, Linda Crutchfield, said, “They are the type of people who step in when they see or hear of a need.”

She added, “Our family needed a place to gather and to grieve — Barbara did not hesitate to offer her home.”

While visiting with Barbara and Gloria, we didn’t just find comfort. We also found friendship, love and much-needed guidance. Nobody in our immediate family had previous experience arranging for a funeral or memorial, and it was Barbara and Gloria who provided direction and hands-on support to help us through the decisions. As our thoughts seemed to be passing through a fog, Barbara and Gloria offered a beacon of light.

Barbara and Gloria put their lives on hold to be with our family during our time of sadness. Their guidance and encouragement eased the burdens that accompany such a difficult time.

Back home, our Southern Indiana Extra Miler friends expressed their sympathy and offered to help. We received more than a 100 cards, e-mails, letters and donations to Mom C’s favorite charities. Our neighbors, the Allen Family, even mowed our lawn — twice.

We are so very grateful to everyone. However, it was the acts of two strangers that will forever be blazed into our memories. Barbara and Gloria, you stepped in to hold our hands and while doing so, you touched our hearts.

To Barbara and Gloria, and all the Extra Milers who helped our family through this time of sadness, thank you for your compassion and friendship.

Carol A. Dawson is a resident of Jeffersonville and owner of EEO GUIDANCE Inc. If you have seen or been a part of an act of kindness or know an Extra Miler, please contact her. To submit an Extra Miler, a story or act of kindness, contact Carol via e-mail at Extra.Milers@newsandtribune.com or by mail at THE EXTRA MILERS, The Evening News, 221 Spring St., Jeffersonville, 47130-3340.