Published: October 29, 2007 11:10 pm            

Acceptance big step in coping with Alzheimer's

WOODWARD, Okla. — Acceptance is perhaps one of the most important steps when it comes to coping with Alzheimer’s disease.

Lori Messenger, program director of the Generations Senior Care Program at Woodward Regional Hospital, said that some patients are in denial about the disease and will often try to hide their memory loss in the beginning stages.

The patient will make excuses when they can’t remember, or talk in generalities, she said.

“It is natural for people to cover up,” Messenger said.

She said some of this denial may spring from the patient’s fears.

Dr. Helen Chiou, who works in internal medicine at the hospital and often assists at Generations, agreed. She said sometimes a patient may be in denial because they “are afraid their family will throw them into a nursing home.”

In other cases, Messenger said, it is the patient’s family members who are in denial.

Often it is a spouse, who instead of addressing the problem will simply compensate, she said.

“It’s hard to address memory changes with a loved one,” she said. “It’s easier to preserve things the way they are.”

However, she said denying or ignoring the changes does not help the situation.

Because Alzheimer’s is a degenerative disease, eventually there will come a point where the patients and/or their families can no longer deny or ignore it, she said.

However by then the disease has progressed and done more irrevocable damage to the brain.

Messenger said there should be increased awareness and discussion about the disease, both at the family level and in society.

She said if there were more social awareness and education about Alzheimer’s like there is about cancer, then people might be more willing to talk about it and seek help sooner.

“Early diagnosis and treatment is important,” she said.

However, the fact that there is no real effective treatment or cure for the disease may be one reason why people find it difficult to talk about the disease, Messenger said.

It is also a difficult diagnosis to accept because Alzheimer’s is a terminal disease.

Despite how difficult this fact may be to accept, both Messenger and Chiou said it is important for family members to address this issue with their loved ones while they are still cognitive enough to express their desires.

“It’s important to get one’s affairs in order,” Messenger said.

She said this includes addressing a variety of issues including how they will be taken care of, appointing power of attorney and how they feel about signing a “Do Not Resuscitate” form.

Family members, especially those who are also caregivers, should know what their loved one wants so they don’t feel guilty when the time comes to make those decisions, Messenger said.

Chiou agreed, saying the point of discussing these issues is to enable the patient “to end their life gracefully and peacefully.”

This can also bring family members peace as well, she said.

“Institutionalizing someone you love is always a difficult decision to make,” Chiou said. “Sometimes it is a better solution than keeping them at home."

And knowing that a loved one accepts nursing home care can help allow family members to make that difficult but necessary decision, she said.

Linda Molone said she can vouch for that.

Molone’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago. And after Molone’s father died, she said, she and her sister took turns taking care of their mother in their homes.

However, it was not providing her mother with the structure and routine she needed.

But Molone and her sister were determined to take care of their mother at home if that was what she wanted.

Fortunately, though, Molone said her mother was able to make the decision herself and told her daughters she wanted to go into assisted living.

“That really took a weight off of us,” she said. “We didn’t have to put her somewhere without her consent.”

Molone said her mother lived in assisted living for about a year, but as the disease progressed she moved into a nursing home.

She said her mother has never regretted the decision, which has made it a lot easier for her and her family to accept and cope.

“She told us and other people that that was the best decision she ever made,” Molone said.



If you would like to know more about the Alzheimer’s disease or how you can begin making plans with a loved one who has Alzheimer’s you can contact Messenger at (580) 254-8670 or 1-800-256-3055. You can also contact the Alzheimer’s Association through its Oklahoma City office at (405) 319-0780 or Tulsa office at (918) 481-7741. The association also has a toll-free number 1-800-272-3900 or you can simply visit the website at www.alz.org.



Rowynn Ricks writes for Woodward (Okla.) News.

        

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