Published: December 06, 2007 03:48 pm            

Have yourself a stressful little Christmas?

Look to family, friends for support this holiday season, therapist advises

JOPLIN, Mo. — In her position as a sales associate for the Hallmark Gold Crown store in Northpark Mall, Laci Alexander says that she’s seen customers at every end of the “stress spectrum” during the holiday season.

“It’s sad to say, but I think the holidays might bring out the worst in people,” Alexander said. “Customers aren’t very nice most of the time. They come in and either are very specific in what they are looking for or don’t have a clue what they are looking for and expect us to somehow know what it is.”

Christmas may be the most wonderful time of the year for some. But for others, it’s one of the most stressful.



Negative thoughts

Whether at home or at the office, the holidays are a time of heightened expectations, according to Rachal Bales, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Joplin.

“Many of those expectations are self-imposed,” Bales said. “People often worry about simple things like ‘Will my holiday party be a hit?’ or ‘Is my gift that I purchased good enough?’

“It’s when those negative inner thoughts are acknowledged and dwelled upon that people find themselves in a state of stress.”

Money is also a cause of increased stress during the holiday season, according to a report published last month in Forbes.

The magazine reported that Americans are expected to spend $475 billion on holiday gifts this year — up 4 percent from 2006. Credit card debt and ballooning budgets are sure to result, according to the report, “affecting individuals and families long after the season is over.”



Taking a toll

When Alexander completes her holiday shift at Hallmark, her work is not finished.

“When I get home, all I really want to do is get on the computer or watch a movie,” she said. “But most of the time, there’s always other responsibilities that take priority. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten sick yet.”

She’s not alone.

Bales said it’s not unusual for stress to take a physical toll on the body.

“People may find that their stomach is upset more than usual,” she said. “In addition, headaches and general body aches are increasingly common this time of year. Some of these symptoms are purely emotional. These aches and pains are the body’s way of letting you know what it’s thinking and feeling.”



Healthy options

A healthy way to deal with stress is to “use your family as a support group,” Bales recommends.

“When people vent their issues of frustrations to their family and friends, they find that they aren’t the only one dealing with these issues and it makes the stress easier to let go of,” she said.

“However, if an individual experiences an increased level of irritability, a decreased level of concentration or finds herself in a perpetual state of depression, she should be advised to seek the proper medical attention.”

The American Heart Association recommends setting realistic expectations for family gatherings to avoid spats, delegating or deleting some of the activities you’ve accumulated and exercising whenever possible to promote a restful night sleep and feelings of well-being.



Valerie Melton writes for The Joplin (Mo.) Globe.



Stress relief

Lower your expectations. Expect a certain amount of stress and hurry as you prepare for the holidays. No matter how much you prepare, nothing ever comes off perfectly.

Plan. Be realistic about your time and money, and consider cutting back on some of the things you’ve done in the past. Your family will appreciate having fewer commitments, too.

Pass the giving spirit on to your kids. Gather the kids and make a list of everyone they can expect to get a gift from this year, then have the kids figure out what they can give each person.

Make time for yourself. As you plan for meeting your holiday obligations, schedule in a little down time for yourself to help recharge your batteries for the challenges you face.

Delegate when possible. If you have older kids, consider enlisting their help in holiday preparations to score a little extra time for the commitments you cannot delegate.

Source: www.essortment.com

        

• Click to discuss this story with other readers on our forums.