Published: October 30, 2008 12:52 am      

FOOTBALL PICKS: Taking the big plunge

Over the weekend, I got to see my little brother get married.

That’s right, The Scott tied the knot and — as I told his lovely bride — there is another person in the world carrying the Cress name. Poor girl, she’s too innocent to join our family tree, a bloodline of drunks, bar fighters and bootleggers with filthy mouths and poor hygiene.

While I fit right in, this newly-minted Mrs. Cress will spend most of her time wondering why people keep asking to crash on her couch, going through her purse and why I won’t put on pants when I answer the door.

It also meant that I had to listen to more than a few people tell me what a scumbag I am for not making my long-standing relationship with Ms. The Matt official. It all had me scrambling for a reason why — I’m immature, I simply cannot be allowed to mold the life of a child, I spent all my money on ill-advised NFL bets — I won’t do it, but a sibling five years my junior will.

I just know I’d embarrass myself at a wedding. I look ridiculous in a tuxedo, I’d have to get my hair cut and while the bride’s side would be standing room only, the groom’s side would have about 10 people — Mike Hutsell, Kevin Harris, my bookie and people from my fantasy football league (assuming I can get them out of their parents’ basement and into the sunlight).

The good news is that football season is at its most interesting point. And that if I wait a little longer, common law will do all the work for me.



JEFFERSONVILLE AT FLOYD CENTRAL

Reporters are often guilty of jumping the gun, and I made a serious mistake when I underestimated Floyd Central.

I thought the Highlanders’ dramatic, come-from-behind win over New Albany was the final chapter for Scott Field, which is in its last season of action. When Floyd coach Bran Glesing told me afterwards that his team planned on hosting a sectional game there, I didn’t really believe him and made my plans to be there when the stadium — complete with an 8-mile trek from the parking lot and the area’s most uncomfortable press box — was demolished.

Yet here the Highlanders are.

And guess what? They are far from finished.

Glesing, who rebuilt Clarksville and has been absolutely on target with his remodeling of the Floyd Central program, has saved his best coaching job yet for the latter part of this season.

Glesing, using the same formula he used with the Generals, has shown he needs just three things to win — a legitimate running back, a quarterback who doesn’t make mistakes and a well-conditioned defense that gets stronger at the end of games.

In Aaron Sparks, Max Guenther and a unit that held strong in the fourth quarter against New Albany and held Bedford to one of its lowest outputs of the season last week, he has them in spades.

Sure, Jeff is athletically superior and has gone 5-2 since a disastrous 0-3 start. The Red Devils should win on Friday, and everything I know about football is telling me to pick them.

The thing is, Floyd Central has become the story of the postseason. And very adept at proving me wrong.

The pick: Floyd Central 35, Jeffersonville 28.



NEW ALBANY AT CASTLE

The Bulldogs — my choice as the area’s best team this season — have been pretty disappointing over the last few weeks, dropping their regular-season finale to Floyd and barely beating Seymour at home in triple overtime.

But what’s even scarier than another “Saw” movie on top at the box office (seriously, why?) is New Albany’s record against Evansville-area teams in the postseason.

During my long and thorough research process, I’ve uncovered that the Bulldogs are 2-11 against teams like Harrison, Castle, North, Reitz, the Bad News Bears, the Durham Bulls and the cast of “Benchwarmers.”

If a team bears Evansville in its name, chances are it’s ended New Albany’s season at some point. Minus a run to regional in 2002, only Jeff and Bedford have beaten New Albany in the sectionals, while Castle has done it twice, Evansville North twice, Evansville Central three times, Reitz just once and Harrison three times.

The only thing that bodes well for New Albany is a familiarity with the Knights, since it led at halftime and by all accounts should have beaten Castle at Buerk Field earlier this year. In fact, New Albany should also have beaten Floyd and gone into the postseason at an imposing 8-1.

While I’m pulling for the Bulldogs, the simple truth is that this losing streak will likely end right about the same time the “Saw” movies stop coming out. So I’m not very optimistic.

The pick: Castle 31, New Albany 20.



CHARLESTOWN AT HERITAGE HILLS

Another thing about marriage that scares me is babies.

Seriously, I was visiting my friend and his newborn the other day and guess what happens? The kid fires a projectile of breast milk all over me.

I mean, we’re sitting here playing hot potato with the baby — everyone commenting on how cute he is and how much hair he has — and of course the potato spits up all over me. It’s like he meant to.

The point of this story is that no matter what I do with Charlestown, I get verbally spit up on. If I pick them and they win, I did what I was supposed to do. If I pick against them and they lose, well, it’s obviously my fault. Obviously.

I actually feel pretty good about the Pirates’ chances this week, despite the Patriots not exactly being the juggernaut they were last season. They have one common foe in Salem, which narrowly beat Charlestown in the regular season, but got pasted by Heritage Hills last week.

Still, Charlestown hung right with a superior Patriots team last season. You can argue that both teams have fallen off this year, but with a healthier Cameron Metzger and far less pressure than an undefeated record and probably the largest crowd ever at Dutch Reis Field forced upon them last year, the Pirates are set up well for a shocking upset.

But going to high school somewhere means you are always married to the place, in one way or another. And, unfortunately, I’m the sort of guy who makes a better ex than I do a husband.

The pick: Heritage Hills 28, Charlestown 13.

Contact Matthew Cress at matthew.cress@newsandtribune.com.