Published: February 25, 2009 12:28 am      

GESENHUES: And the watcher is ...

Oscar night for me is like the Superbowl for Bob Costas. I love it, I revel in it, and this year, I'm watching it by myself.

How this happened I have no idea, but as the red carpet pre-show begins, I realize that I am alone in my living room. My husband is in the basement hanging doors, and my two kiddos are both asleep.

What is a movie fanatic to do when left alone on the biggest night of the year for movies? If you're me, you write about. I know I'm going to have a gazillion comments about what Mickey Rourke says, how hot Brad and Angie look, and how in the world they could give the Oscar to anyone other than Michael Shannon, the crazy neighbor in “Revolutionary Road.”

Instead of letting all my witty commentary go to waste, I've decided to write it all down and share it with you. Who cares that you will be reading it a whole three days later?

Before the night even begins, I prep by watching the Barbara Walters special where she interviews the Oscar's host, Hugh Jackman. At the very end of the show, they roll footage of Hugh giving Barbara a lap dance. It was weird and a little uncomfortable to watch. Now the whole tone of the Oscars has been set by this freaky two minutes of video that I wished I hadn't seen.

But, there is no time to dwell, here come the stars down the red carpet and Mickey Rourke does not disappoint. Mickey tells the reporter that he had a tux made for his poor, tiny dog that died last week. He had it with him, too — the tux, not the dog. Does anybody get the feeling that whoever talks to Mickey or interviews him takes the risk of getting punched in the face?

And the first big award of the night goes to: Penelope Cruz for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona.” I'm actually clapping — by myself — while sitting on my couch. Penelope was one of my picks in my Oscar pool sheet at work. Her opening scene in Woody Allen's movie was phenomenal, and I consider her my generation’s Sophia Loren. She's gorgeous and exotic, and her winning is a bit like my team scoring a touch down.

The comedy-movie tribute brings together the two actors from my favorite comedy of 2008, James Franco and Seth Rogen of “Pineapple Express.” And hello, Mr. Rogen. Somebody has been working out with Madonna and Gwenyth's personal trainer. Seth Rogen has slimmed down and is looking a little bit Hollywood-ish, which isn't his normal look. James is as cute as always.

Not that I've seen any of the documentary film nominees, but I'm pulling for “The Betrayal.” The filmmaker for this flick has a look to him. If you didn't see it, I'll sum it up simply by saying, “He's got some teeth going on.” If you did see it, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

“The Betrayal” doesn't get it. Instead, the award goes to the team who made “Man on Wire,” which is about Phillipe Petit, the crazy guy who illegally walked a tightrope between the two World Trade Center Towers in 1974. Phillipe appeared to be a man on crack, tonight. But again, he is crazy.

As the show barrels forward, I find myself struggling to stay awake. I really just want to see if they're going to give the Oscar to Sean Penn or Mickey Rourke, but I know they will wait to the very end to let us know. Of course, Kate Winslett wins and Heath Ledger. (Oh, sweet Heath, I wish you were still alive to accept your Oscar.)

The best musical score and song both go to “Slumdog Millionaire.” If I were in college, my drinking game for tonight would have been to make everybody take a shot whenever the word “Slumdog” gets announced.

And finally, the best actor award is given to Sean Penn, and I couldn't be happier. I can't help but think that Sean’s call-out to Mickey Rourke about them “being brothers” is a quick attempt to keep from getting punched in the face.

Christian Colson surprises no one when he takes the last Oscar of the night for best film with “Slumdog Millionaire.” What does surprise me is his eloquent quote, which perfectly sums up the night — and life in general — “If you have passion and belief, truly anything is possible.”



Amy Gesenhues is a freelance writer who lives in Floyd County. You can read her daily commentaries at www.amywroteit.word press.com. E-mail her directly at amy@amywroteit.com.