Published: September 25, 2008 12:48 am            

CRESS: Friday's high school football picks

I spend an extraordinary amount of time doing two things — playing fantasy football and watching high school football.

Isn’t it time we combine the two?

You know, I often sit around wondering what I would do if someone offered me Floyd Central quarterback Max Guenther for Charlestown running back Mike Blackford.

Would I counter with Guenther for Clarksville’s Corey Bowens? Would I get more value if I packaged Josh Graham with Jamie Goldsmith in an effort to land Edward Wright-Baker?

I think the concept could even go beyond the gridiron. What about Fantasy Dentistry? Fantasy Plumbing? Fantasy Call-Center Employee? Would I be saying things like, “I’ll trade you Dr. Smith for Dr. Thompson and his receptionist,” only to hear “Is that the guy who messed up Mrs. Jones’ bridge work? I’ll pass.”

The problem with that is, of course, that it’s real life. And real life is no place for fantasy.



CORYDON AT CHARLESTOWN

As all five of you who read this column last week know, I picked the Pirates to lose to Providence. I also attended the game, which meant I had to wear body armor and riot gear to get up into the press box.

This isn’t directed at any one fan base, but this just kills me when people do it. I’ll pick against their team and (of course) end up being wrong, so certain fans make a point to say to me, “Boy, we really showed you.”

The thing is, this fan didn’t show me anything. He or she likely sat in the bleachers, shoveled popcorn into his or her mouth and watched the kids — who actually deserve the glory — win a football game.

Yup, they showed me.

Anyway, last week felt wrong for Charlestown, which is without star running back Cameron Metzger. Against the Pioneers, Metzger’s absence was certainly felt, but hurt more deeply on the defensive end. Most of us overlooked that he’s a strong presence at linebacker and Providence ran all over the still-adjusting defense.

This week, however, will bring some healing to the hearts of Pirate fans. Charlestown is by no means finished, and has a deep and talented backfield, even without Metzger.

The pick: Charlestown 42, Corydon 14.



NEW ALBANY AT MADISON

I didn’t believe it at first, but Madison won a game last week.

Despite the fact that they ruined a bunch of jokes I had written, I’m happy for the Cubs. They really aren’t as bad as their record indicates, with two of those losses coming by a combined 14 points.

I’m happier for New Albany. The Bulldogs didn’t beat Class 4A No. 1 Columbus East last week, but they hung in for a half and had their chances. I have never subscribed to the theory of a “good loss,” but this was close.

New Albany should be favored in its final four games. Heading into the postseason at 7-2 would be a nice accomplishment for a dangerous team.

The pick: New Albany 49, Madison 10.



COLUMBUS EAST AT FLOYD CENTRAL

It would be best to go ahead and ban the Olympians from coming into our area this year.

We could put up fences and hire border patrols, but the problem is that East would likely just treat them like every defense it has seen all season and run right through.

The Olympians are averaging 45.8 points per game, making it safe to say that you’d want just about every starter in your regular fantasy rotation. You’d also want their defense, since it has yet to surrender more than 14 points in a game and giving up an average of 6.2.

Yeah, it’s safe to say this would be an awful tough hill to climb for the Highlanders.

See, that’s funny because Highlanders live in the mountains and do, in fact, climb hills. Sometimes this stuff just writes itself.

The pick: Columbus East 35, Floyd Central 7.



CLARKSVILLE AT NORTH HARRISON

A pattern has emerged with the Generals this season — get blown out, win, get blown out, win. Rinse, wash and repeat.

But the Generals didn’t get blown out in their loss last week. In fact, they put on a good show against a Salem team that has two of those “quality” losses, narrow defeats to Brownstown and Paoli.

Still, a look at the rest of the Generals’ slate gives little reason to think they’ll break the cycle. After what should be a victory against the Cougars comes Brownstown, then a winnable home game with Crawford County before the annual meeting with Providence.

Rinse, wash, repeat. Unless you play fantasy football. Then you just throw on your soiled Brett Favre jersey and head out to eat some chicken wings.

The pick: Clarksville 28, North Harrison 10.



PROVIDENCE AT JEFFERSONVILLE

The rule in fantasy football is always stick with the hot guy.

The Pioneers are more than hot — they are confident. The way they handled Charlestown last week was not just impressive, it was complete. They’ve won their last three games by an unreal score of 134-25.

Ethan Cook and Shane Sparks were supposed to be good this season, but instead they’ve been great. Sophomore quarterback Anthony Denis is rounding into a solid passer who is good enough that even bad reporters will start spelling his name right (sorry, Mrs. Denis).

Jeff, of course, will present problems with its speed and athleticism. The Pioneers did show themselves vulnerable to the running game at times against run-heavy Charlestown, so it could be a big night for Goldsmith.

It’s OK, Jeff fans. You’ll show me.

The pick: Providence 34, Jeffersonville 28.

Contact Matthew Cress at matthew.cress@newsandtribune.com.

        

• Click to discuss this story with other readers on our forums.